Neither Rich, Neither Poor, But It Wasn't Easy.

It is wrong to show happiness? Is it wrong to share that happiness?

I don't know what other people are going through, but let me tell you how it was for me growing up.

My mother was an independent woman. I mean seriously, a super woman. She does everything and I mean EVERYTHING. She works, she cooks, she sends me and my siblings to school/tuition classes/islamic classes/ballet classes/football/etc (you name it), she does the groceries, pay the bills, pay the house, just literally EVERYTHING.

My dad? He appears once in a while in the picture and I don't want to go into that.

Anyway, growing up especially during primary school I used to hate my mother. I love her, but sometimes I was just so angry at her. Angry at how she was working all the time and I was craving for the attention. When I was in Secondary school, I saw my sister was going through the same thing, but if I see it differently, she spends more time with us than any working mother could have ever done. I mean, how can you be working and send your children to school at the same time? Then send us again to where ever we wanted to go. Even to malls on weekend!

I hated the day I had my driving licence. It just means, I can go anywhere I want by myself now. Mean, I'll have less time with mother. Sometimes the only time we had was in the car when she's sending me somewhere. Until she had to say, "just please help me out, I do EVERYTHING, now you can mobilize, just help me a little". After that, I just had to accept that I had to be responsible.

It wasn't an easy life, but it was a disaster either. It was comfortable, but definitely wasn't easy. To get where we are now. I don't know how my mother does it. We're don't own millions, but one thing she says, "never show people how hard your life is". Because whatever that happens in your life is because of Allah s.w.t. All you can do is pray hard, work hard and hope that whatever comes to you, you just have to make the best out of it. And yet, I get to be a doctor, my brother is a geologist, another brother in UK completing engineering and my sister just finished SPM.

Even the time when my mother had lost every single cent that she owns, somehow me managed to pull through. I remember that time my brother was in college and he had gotten so thin. When my mother visited him, he said he hadn't eaten for a week and just drank tap water. *Okay, I can't hold my tears*
It was so hard at that time. I had to fork out my study allowance to support them. Some days I had to do extra business to get some pocket money. But even with that situation, I still can do things that I want. I was still able to travel, and shop and well, do whatever I wanted while I was in Moscow.

We never told how hard our lives was at that point of time. People see me travel, and having fun in Moscow, they think I wasn't helping my mother. They think me and my siblings were ignoring my mother and let her drown in her own problems. I know I can't help her much, all I can help was trying to make our family survive and what else would they expect us to do? We're a bunch of kids! And if I know my mother, I know she wouldn't use our money to solve her problems.

I don't want to tell the world how my life is. I know there are other people whose lives are harder than mine, but I just want to tell that we didn't had an easy life. Not like what other people portrays our lives.

From this situation, I learnt that the only way you can get out of your problems is if Allah s.w.t helps you and to get to the point where He helps you, is where you have to accept all the trouble and hardship. Not trying to get people's attention or blame someone else for the misery that you have.

Somehow at the time where we had no money. Literally NO MONEY, there were always somewhere, somehow, out of nowhere came the money. Somehow, Saddam still got to go to UK with MARA sponsorship, Lokman graduated, I graduated, and Nabilla finished high school. Well, what more can a mother ask for? Orang kata, rezeki.... Alhamdulillah.

Anyway, we're still surviving. My mother still has her business. Me and Lokman are already working now, so I think it should be easier for her.

And to those people, I hope they can see, that if we don't want to help them, we could have just ran away and live overseas. But we're still here, and I hope that they can be patient. I hope that they can see that the money is Allah's and not ours. If Allah s.w.t decide that the money should be taken away, who are we to argue?

Wallahualam.

For whatever misfit that happened in our lives, I am still grateful for this life Allah s.w.t gave to us, because without those misfit I don't think we could get closer to Him and to each other and I don't think we would know the people's true colour.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

Oh Mother, I don't know how you do it. I just wish I could be half of who you are.

My weekends in September

I wanted to post this up in October but I was carried away with work, and my free time are mostly filled with sleep. So I didn't bother much about updating what has been happening in my life.

Anyway, here's some photos of what happened on my weekends in September. I had wedding to attend every weekend! And some double wedding which I couldn't attend.

All of them are happily married now and I'm not sure if there are buns in their oven by now, but I wish them the best! ^_^

1st September: Fareha and Musira

6th September: Faezah & Fitri

14th September: Fardia and Arif

14th September: Farisa and Syahir

21st & 28th September: Firdany and Azzam

Weddings are so much fun to attend, especially when you can get together with old friends and family.

Well, another good news is I've passed my 7 months in O&G department. I am going to medical department next. Arghhhh! I hate going into new department. I really hate feeling stupid and doesn't know what to do. I really hate not knowing the system. I hope all will goes well for me. Wish me the best peeps! ^_^

Better Late Than Never: Dr Maimuna+Dr Irfan's Engagement

Heee.. I know it's very late to post up pics of  my engagement, but oh well, better late than never right? and I know you guys are actually waiting for it.

So, my engagement was almost 5 months ago. 13th April 2013. Had everything planned, although there was so many things happening right before the event.

One, the case where my engagement ring got stolen. Then my then-to-be fiancé's grandmother passed away few days before our engagement.  I thought of postponing our event, but his family said everything was already prepared, so we went on with it.

They gave me his grandmother's ring for our engagement. :'(
It's really sad. His grandmother was so excited to come to Kuantan, but I guess it was her time. Allah knows better.

Not to mentioned, I was SICK! Paediatrics really left me a gift, I was on night shift 2 days before my engagement and I fell sick. I was working with 38.5'C temperature and vomited the whole night. I had to asked my colleague from the other ward for blood taking because I was shivering. My fingers turned blue while I was doing my rounds and had chills. Luckily my MO was cool. I think I overdosed myself on Brufen that night. :p

So anyway, the event started after Maghrib. We also did Doa Selamat right before my event.

Here's some pic of the night.

The pelamin. Done by my mother.

 

The house all prep up

 

Yours truly. The dress bought in Variante Pavillion.

My face looks so "sembab" because I was sick and slept the whole day.

 

"I do"

 

 I'm engaged!

 

 My bestfriends!

 

 With his parents

 

 

My family, the people who made it happen. Without them it wouldn't be a success.

 

The hantaran. Mine was done by my auntie and cousin.

 

 

So there you have it. The people I have to thank most is my mom and my maklang. They're the ones who made the event a success. Also not to forget my cousins. Hopefully those who came had a blast! I know I did.

 

Missing that moment.

 



Salam Ramadhan!

Alhamdulillah.. I get to spend another year fasting in the holy month and what a coincident, my off day fell on the first day of Ramadhan. So I get to go home, sahur and berbuka with my family! weee... Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah...

I hope this holy month will bring me peace and gets me closer to Allah swt. I hope I'll be more patient. Hopefully my bosses will be more calmer too! 

The dos and don'ts in Ramadhan

Despite the guide of what to do and what not do to in Ramadhan, I don't think we should restrict our good deeds only in Ramadhan but instead enhance them. They should not stop once Ramadhan is over but to continue doing good things. This is a reminder for me too.

Anyway, I wish all my brothers and sisters in Islam to have a blessed Ramadhan. May this year brings more prosperity to you in this world and the hereafter. InsyaAllah.

Happy Ramadhan peeps! ^_^

What Makes You Beautiful

Me: b... Awak ok tak dengan warna biru?

bB: Asalkan awak nampak cantik.. Saya tak kisah

Me: MANA BOLEH!!! Kene la dua-dua cantik!

bB: Oh.. ye ke? Tapi saya tak kisah... 

Me: -_____-"


Do I go bold with the colour pastel blue, or should I play safe and go with pastel peach? I know I look good in both colours (okay, perasan jap), but I can't say if he'll look good in blue though... Never seen him wearing pastel blue before...

He just follows with whatever colour I choose. He doesn't even mind whatever colour I choose, as long as I'm happy...

But I can't be making all this decisions by myself! It's our ceremony.. Blue or Peach? Blue or Peach?

So... Peach or Blue? hrrmmm... 

The Arrival

Mama and Maklang safely arrived in Moscow! Alhamdulillah.

My convocation will be held this Tuesday! Can't wait! ^_^