A single Spotlight

I've just finished watching Grey's Anatomy episode 5.. love the episode!! especially when Derek gave Meredith a Kidney-in-a-Jar.. *hearts*

I want a Kidney-in-a-Jar too..metaphorically.. I just want him to give me something that i really really want.. I just need to figure out what that THING is..

he's going to a concert next month.. some metal band's concert and i can't follow coz its 'dangerous' and i might get suffocated in a mosh-pit.. it's not my thing, i just like to follow him wherever he goes.. but i can't.. sheesh.. why do guys need so much space anyway? i know I'm being a little childish and selfish here.. I'm sorry that i don't have friends that like to go to concerts or at least the same interest as i do..

you'd think its easy to actually find friends but its not for me.. i hate going to new places.. i hate the first day attending primary school, i hate the first day attending secondary school, i hate the first day of college and the first day in Moscow.. just cause i have to find new friends..

i like going to concerts.. but never really had the chance to go.. first concert i went was the one bB brought me to - Ozzy Osbourne's concert.. and i don't even like Ozzy.. 2nd one was MUSE and that was THE BEST CONCERT EVER!!! but i can only compare 2 concerts coz i only went for 2 concerts.. the only person that i actually think i could bring along to a concert that i like in my sister Nabilla bcoz we like the same artists - but she's like 12!! and I'm 21!! it's not really a good combination, we'll probably have fun but i have to take care of her - bring her to the toilet if she wants to go - and pay for the tickets.. and it wouldn't be so much fun for me.. at least if she's 16.. *sigh* then I'd probably be too old to go to an Avril Lavigne's concert.. *cry*!

right now - what i want is to go to a concert of my most favourite artist... coming back home with 2 tickets of.. let say, Justin Timberlake's concert on my table... *SCREAM*!!!! that would be so cool!! or even 2 tickets to Bolshoi Theatre to see Swan Lake Ballet is a dream come true.. :( I've only watched 1 musical so far - Cats. Its was great but i couldn't understand them.. they were in Russian and i was just starting my russian class at that time.. hrmmm...

I know i am a little demanding.. but I WANT WHAT I WANT!! and patience is not a good friend of mine.. *sigh* i thought i had grown-up.. but i guess i haven't..

I wanted to go to Backstreet Boys Concert last summer in Moscow.. but no one i know wanted to go with me.. He asked me to go with my friends, he wanted to watch MU vs Chelsea UEFA championship finals.. they fell on the same date.. damn-it!

i like to spend my time with him, even if we were fighting.. i like his presence, it makes me happy even if i don't show it... but sometimes he need his space, which sometimes just annoys me.. he'll leave me alone for 1 year once he graduated and we wont know if we'll get the same place once we start working or not.. so what's wrong with me wanting to be with him all the time?