Saturday, December 27, 2014

Leave A Little Sparkle Wherever You Go

"There's no reason to look back when you have so much to look forward to"


Bersawang dah blog ni. I'm so sorry to my readers.

Currently in my last posting - Orthopaedics. Seriously can't believe it. Almost surviving my housemanship.
I hope I'll have time to make this blog as active as it used to be.
Too busy with my wedding. Too busy with my day job.
Trying to get my passion for blogging back.
Wanna travel again soon.

I went to Yellowcard concert last week. I think I'll update that soon.

When I have time.
Sigh. Time....


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Career path

The more I stay in this career path, the more I hate this job.

There is not one day that I haven't thought of quitting from becoming a doctor.

Friday, August 15, 2014


Annoying people are just annoying.
Don't think you'd know what other's are experiencing if you never experienced them yourselves.
Just shut up.
Just because all the bosses like you. Just because you're smart, doesn't mean you can be a leader.
5 postings, not once you've held a title to do the roster.
Not once anyone voted for you to become the HO leader, and yet you kept telling me how to do my job.
This is the second time I've held the title HO leader. This is the second time I'm doing the roster.
Don't you think they'd let me be the leader again if they didn't think I could do it?

*Okay, Anna, no need to brag.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Ramadhan Kareem

Alhamdulillah. We meet again in this wonderful holy month.

I hope during this holy month, that I get closer to Allah. My resolution is to at least read 1 ayat of the Quran per day (ATLEAST), not missing my prayers, go to terawikh anytime I get the day off or pre-night shifts, not saying bad about other people, not loosing my temper and not to forget LOOSING WEIGHT.

I was 46kg last year during my O&G posting. I gained to 50kg when I was in my medical posting.

Currently I'm 54kg!!! OMGeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

I don't even know how to hide my fattiness in picture anymore. I can really see that I'm gaining weight. I think my metabolism is slowing down.

I really need to get started on exercising. I know I have been sleeping a lot.

Okay, I'm babbling off topic.
Anyway, HAPPY RAMADHAN TO EVERY IN THE WORLD! I wish for good health, prosperity and Allah's blessing to all of us especially during this Holy month.
May we go through it with ease.

Friday, May 9, 2014


Daddy always light up a smile whenever he sees us, whenever we're back home or visit him whenever he's in KL. He looks very happy when he meet us.

Always telling my mother that he misses us.

Kept asking me when Saddam is coming back from UK.

I wonder, how come he never had that look when we were younger, when we were around at home?

Sigh. I miss u too daddy but I wished u did things differently back then.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

My life

"Dear Allah, please don't make me hate this job I love doing"

Monday, March 3, 2014

Wedding Jitters

I think bB is getting a little bit over stressed about the wedding. Especially when everything I like seems to be over RM1000+

I am in love with this designer Arma Abd Rahman Wedding Couture but the price! OMG.. I could just faint. Although, most wedding couture prices ranges about the same. But bB seem to disagree with me to spend too much for a wedding dress. And I need 3 wedding dresses. T_T

So for now, I gave up on searching for a tailor. I'm just going to ask my mom to find me a good and not-so-expensive tailor with (hopefully) a good workmanship for my wedding dresses.

Then I started searching for a make up artist. Took me almost a week of searching, from Google to Facebook to Instagram. So I found this lady, Lin Elier whose workmanship is so natural and so lovely and so gorgeous and then I found out she's charging RM1000 per session and my heart just breaks. Later I found out it's the same make up artist that did Farisa's reception. So pretty okay!!

My heart just kept breaking every time I start searching for my wedding things.

The problem with me is I want it grand, or at least look grand. Every one said it wouldn't matter, but it matters to me. I want to be satisfied. I don't want to regret anything later. If only money wasn't the problem.


Sunday, January 12, 2014

Neither Rich, Neither Poor, But It Wasn't Easy.

It is wrong to show happiness? Is it wrong to share that happiness?

I don't know what other people are going through, but let me tell you how it was for me growing up.

My mother was an independent woman. I mean seriously, a super woman. She does everything and I mean EVERYTHING. She works, she cooks, she sends me and my siblings to school/tuition classes/islamic classes/ballet classes/football/etc (you name it), she does the groceries, pay the bills, pay the house, just literally EVERYTHING.

My dad? He appears once in a while in the picture and I don't want to go into that.

Anyway, growing up especially during primary school I used to hate my mother. I love her, but sometimes I was just so angry at her. Angry at how she was working all the time and I was craving for the attention. When I was in Secondary school, I saw my sister was going through the same thing, but if I see it differently, she spends more time with us than any working mother could have ever done. I mean, how can you be working and send your children to school at the same time? Then send us again to where ever we wanted to go. Even to malls on weekend!

I hated the day I had my driving licence. It just means, I can go anywhere I want by myself now. Mean, I'll have less time with mother. Sometimes the only time we had was in the car when she's sending me somewhere. Until she had to say, "just please help me out, I do EVERYTHING, now you can mobilize, just help me a little". After that, I just had to accept that I had to be responsible.

It wasn't an easy life, but it was a disaster either. It was comfortable, but definitely wasn't easy. To get where we are now. I don't know how my mother does it. We're don't own millions, but one thing she says, "never show people how hard your life is". Because whatever that happens in your life is because of Allah s.w.t. All you can do is pray hard, work hard and hope that whatever comes to you, you just have to make the best out of it. And yet, I get to be a doctor, my brother is a geologist, another brother in UK completing engineering and my sister just finished SPM.

Even the time when my mother had lost every single cent that she owns, somehow me managed to pull through. I remember that time my brother was in college and he had gotten so thin. When my mother visited him, he said he hadn't eaten for a week and just drank tap water. *Okay, I can't hold my tears*
It was so hard at that time. I had to fork out my study allowance to support them. Some days I had to do extra business to get some pocket money. But even with that situation, I still can do things that I want. I was still able to travel, and shop and well, do whatever I wanted while I was in Moscow.

We never told how hard our lives was at that point of time. People see me travel, and having fun in Moscow, they think I wasn't helping my mother. They think me and my siblings were ignoring my mother and let her drown in her own problems. I know I can't help her much, all I can help was trying to make our family survive and what else would they expect us to do? We're a bunch of kids! And if I know my mother, I know she wouldn't use our money to solve her problems.

I don't want to tell the world how my life is. I know there are other people whose lives are harder than mine, but I just want to tell that we didn't had an easy life. Not like what other people portrays our lives.

From this situation, I learnt that the only way you can get out of your problems is if Allah s.w.t helps you and to get to the point where He helps you, is where you have to accept all the trouble and hardship. Not trying to get people's attention or blame someone else for the misery that you have.

Somehow at the time where we had no money. Literally NO MONEY, there were always somewhere, somehow, out of nowhere came the money. Somehow, Saddam still got to go to UK with MARA sponsorship, Lokman graduated, I graduated, and Nabilla finished high school. Well, what more can a mother ask for? Orang kata, rezeki.... Alhamdulillah.

Anyway, we're still surviving. My mother still has her business. Me and Lokman are already working now, so I think it should be easier for her.

And to those people, I hope they can see, that if we don't want to help them, we could have just ran away and live overseas. But we're still here, and I hope that they can be patient. I hope that they can see that the money is Allah's and not ours. If Allah s.w.t decide that the money should be taken away, who are we to argue?


For whatever misfit that happened in our lives, I am still grateful for this life Allah s.w.t gave to us, because without those misfit I don't think we could get closer to Him and to each other and I don't think we would know the people's true colour.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

Oh Mother, I don't know how you do it. I just wish I could be half of who you are.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

How To Read Chest X-Rays

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year 2014

This is my 2nd year working on New Year. No plans on New Year's Eve except for sleeping in early.

Summarizing 2013?
How should I put it? Housemanship is tough! I don't know how I survived 1 year of torture. Although, there are times that I appreciate it and loving my job. It takes time getting used to, but there are always (most) days that I thought of quitting.

This job is draining my energy. Well, enough about my job. It'll never end if I start talking about what I 'love' about my job. :P

Anyway, for the past years when I was still in Moscow, I usually writes about my resolutions and what I've accomplished. But I don't think I have the time anymore. I miss my time. I miss spending new years with close friends. I miss being silly and doing stupid things.

I just wish that things will get better. I wish I'll get through this. I wish to be a great doctor. I wish for health, wealth and love for me and my family. I wish things will go smoothly for my wedding (the anticipation is killing me) and I hope unresolved things will get resolved soon.

May I have more patience for my patients.

Happy New Year peeps!
May it be a good year. InsyaAllah. Cheers!