Some days I wanna quit this dayjob of mine so bad and find something I really love doing and don't mind the stress. I want to find my passion and feel the happiness again.
I really miss my life in Moscow. It was hectic and sometimes stressful especially when you're dealing with the university or when the foreign students welfare is not met but somehow I had time to find the things I love doing. I could find time to actually read on things. Nowadays I can't even finish a single book. I can't even remember the last time I finished a novel. Can't even remember the last title of the book I "read".
I can't even remember the last time I opened the Quran, let alone reading the translation. I used to had so much time. So much time for myself.
Some days I feel severely depressed. I can't find my happiness in my job. I can't find the love in this job. But then, I don't know what else to do if I actually decide to quit this job.
I hate doing business. I don't know how to make money from my blog. I don't know how to do marketing. What else can I do?
Every day I chant to myself, I'm doing this for the sake of Allah. May He gives me happiness in this "so-called" noble job of mine. May he leads me to the right path. InsyaAllah, I'm sure everything will get better. I just have to believe in myself.
I don't know why I'm so depressed.
😞
Showing posts with label medicine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label medicine. Show all posts
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Saturday, May 9, 2015
New Place, New Life, and The Uncertainties.
I hate this feeling. The feeling of uncertainty. I hate going to new places.
I remember curling up on the floor the day after I received my SPM results and had to make decisions on where I am going. I remember thinking I hate growing up. I remember thinking I hate to cross that line, that uncertainty.
Nonetheless, as Ellice Grey would say it - the carousel never stop turning. I have to endure it anyway, and so far I have been surviving. Had a great time along the way too.
I have been posted to Hospital Enche Besar Hajjah Khalsom in Kluang, Johor. New place, new environment, new colleague. I hate the part where I am the only "junior" MO. I am alone. That's just the worst of all. I hope I won't get bullied. I hope my colleague are great. I just really hope the best for myself.
I am always alone somehow. I entered matriculation alone. I went to Russia alone. I entered Selayang Hospital alone. Alone as in no one I knew came with me. After my 2nd posting during housemanship, I practically entered every department alone. Sighh...
Yeah, you can say it's some sort a sad situation but I make a lot of friends a long the way. I really hope this time it will be the same.
Wish me luck as a medical MO. I am terrified out of my brain right now! *cries*
Friday, April 3, 2015
Have I Sinned?
Sometimes, I get flashbacks of my patients that has passed. Mostly I thought the ones that died because of my incompetence and carelessness in my judgement.
They said you're not a good doctor if you never killed anyone.
But have I sinned? Killing is a sin. Some days I wonder. If my incompentence and carelessness cause them death. Is it a sin?
It's bad thinking about it. Sometimes the guilt is just too overwhelming. Although most of the time they were unexpected. Like you never thought the outcome would be that way because patient was so well until you gave one medication that was supposed to be contraindicated.
I really feel sad for him. He and his wife waited for hours in the emergency department. If only the surgical team had reviewed him earlier. I don't want to blame anyone. Wished I had better judgement that day. It's already almost 6 months had pass since the incident yet I'm still having difficulties forgetting that moment. I felt guilty because they waited for hours in the emergency department and he ended up dead. I felt guilty for his wife that waited beside him. I just really felt guilty. He seemed so well when he came.
I am so sorry.
Dear Allah, I hope you forgive me.
Dear uncle and auntie and the rest of your family, I hope you forgive me too.
They said you're not a good doctor if you never killed anyone.
But have I sinned? Killing is a sin. Some days I wonder. If my incompentence and carelessness cause them death. Is it a sin?
It's bad thinking about it. Sometimes the guilt is just too overwhelming. Although most of the time they were unexpected. Like you never thought the outcome would be that way because patient was so well until you gave one medication that was supposed to be contraindicated.
I really feel sad for him. He and his wife waited for hours in the emergency department. If only the surgical team had reviewed him earlier. I don't want to blame anyone. Wished I had better judgement that day. It's already almost 6 months had pass since the incident yet I'm still having difficulties forgetting that moment. I felt guilty because they waited for hours in the emergency department and he ended up dead. I felt guilty for his wife that waited beside him. I just really felt guilty. He seemed so well when he came.
I am so sorry.
Dear Allah, I hope you forgive me.
Dear uncle and auntie and the rest of your family, I hope you forgive me too.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Extended
So I got extended another 3 months in Obstetrics and Gynaecology department because somehow my assessor thinks my knowledge is not good enough.
But in some little ways, I don't think I am ready to go to another department yet. I really don't mind staying here.
I find I enjoy delivering babies. First timers always made my eyes tear up, when they see their babies for the first time. It's like magic. Although complications can sometimes be very scary.
Anyway, here's my tip if you're planning to get pregnant or currently pregnant.
- Get an early antenatal check up. It doesn't matter if you're married or not. You can't hide that tummy. Just make our life easier will you? You're not only risking us, you're risking your life and your baby's life. What's the purpose of coming to the hospital if you've never had check ups? Might as well just give birth at home!
- Giving birth is super painful. Let me rephrase that, it's SUPER SUPER DUPER PAINFUL. You SHOULD ask for epidural. Can you imagine, even with epidural, you can still feel the pain. We used epidural for operations, when we cut people up and you won't feel the pain. But you will still feel pain during contractions, even with epidural. If epidural is not available, and we'll give you pethidine instead, please don't ask for more. Just relax and bare with the pain. Pain is good, means you're progressing.
- Don't scream around and scare other mommies. Everyone is in pain. Not just you. We KNOW it's painful and you should have been prepared for the pain. Screaming doesn't help. It'll just get you tired. Breath in and breath out. That'll usually helps. Pethidine only given every 6 hourly, we don't want your baby to get overdose. You shouldn't want that too!
- If you're unsure that your water broke, just come to the hospital. Don't come 1 week later. You're risking infections to your baby. They're not always going to be gushing in nature and wet your whole sarong. Sometimes they'll be dribbling continuously.
- EXERCISE while you're pregnant and eat healthy. Pushing your baby out requires all your muscle and lungs to work. You need to hold your breath and push! Giving birth needs more energy that running a marathon. I advice for swimming. I think it'll help your breathing while giving birth. Most patient that can't push because they can't hold their breath in.
- When we want to check you OS, OPEN WIDE! How the hell the baby is going to come out if you can't spread your legs. It's a baby for goodness sake! It's not small!
- Read pregnancy books. Please just be prepared.
Well, I think I have some more tips but I can't really think right now. If I happen to remember anything else, i'll sure to post them up..
But in some little ways, I don't think I am ready to go to another department yet. I really don't mind staying here.
I find I enjoy delivering babies. First timers always made my eyes tear up, when they see their babies for the first time. It's like magic. Although complications can sometimes be very scary.
Anyway, here's my tip if you're planning to get pregnant or currently pregnant.
- Get an early antenatal check up. It doesn't matter if you're married or not. You can't hide that tummy. Just make our life easier will you? You're not only risking us, you're risking your life and your baby's life. What's the purpose of coming to the hospital if you've never had check ups? Might as well just give birth at home!
- Giving birth is super painful. Let me rephrase that, it's SUPER SUPER DUPER PAINFUL. You SHOULD ask for epidural. Can you imagine, even with epidural, you can still feel the pain. We used epidural for operations, when we cut people up and you won't feel the pain. But you will still feel pain during contractions, even with epidural. If epidural is not available, and we'll give you pethidine instead, please don't ask for more. Just relax and bare with the pain. Pain is good, means you're progressing.
- Don't scream around and scare other mommies. Everyone is in pain. Not just you. We KNOW it's painful and you should have been prepared for the pain. Screaming doesn't help. It'll just get you tired. Breath in and breath out. That'll usually helps. Pethidine only given every 6 hourly, we don't want your baby to get overdose. You shouldn't want that too!
- If you're unsure that your water broke, just come to the hospital. Don't come 1 week later. You're risking infections to your baby. They're not always going to be gushing in nature and wet your whole sarong. Sometimes they'll be dribbling continuously.
- EXERCISE while you're pregnant and eat healthy. Pushing your baby out requires all your muscle and lungs to work. You need to hold your breath and push! Giving birth needs more energy that running a marathon. I advice for swimming. I think it'll help your breathing while giving birth. Most patient that can't push because they can't hold their breath in.
- When we want to check you OS, OPEN WIDE! How the hell the baby is going to come out if you can't spread your legs. It's a baby for goodness sake! It's not small!
- Read pregnancy books. Please just be prepared.
Well, I think I have some more tips but I can't really think right now. If I happen to remember anything else, i'll sure to post them up..
Friday, March 8, 2013
Where is my heart?
I'm struggling to find back my passion towards medicine. I used to love it so much. I mean, I still love medicine, but when I am back from work, all I can about is sleep. Even when I am at work, all I can think about is sleep. I WANT SLEEP.
I am lacking in so many things. My supervisors don't think I'm improving. I don't know if I still have that confidence or strength to go on. I don't let my parents know about it, though.
I still wake up at 5 a.m, to be at work by 6 a.m. At times I get to work by 7 a.m because I overslept and I won't have time to review all my patients by 8.30 am, and I get scolded for not knowing my patient's progress or when I forgot to fill in their latest blood results or when I mixed up my patients. And they say "potong 1 jam gaji" because I woke up late. And they'll say "You know, during my time as a houseman I took care of 28 patients!" I understand that, and I am severely impressed by how they did it! Anyway, I never went back on time. I always end up staying 1 or 2 hours later anyway but I won't get that extra pay. They should know right? Even they don't always go back on time either.
By the time I got back, I never open my books. I don't have the mood, because all I want is SLEEP. My precious precious sleep. I want 12 hours of sleep.
The cycle goes on, and I get scolded for not knowing the pathology of a disease or the aetiology or the common symptoms. I get scolded because I never revised at home. Yes, 7 years of med school and I still can't remember what bacterias cause Pneumonia. heh. 5 months of holiday, I didn't even open any books. So, yeah.
I just don't know what will happen. Everyone said it'll get better, but will it really? With my current situation, no one says I'm improving, and I don't even have that feeling where I want to prove them wrong.....
Anyway, apart from my depression. We found the perfect engagement ring for me! Finally!!! Although, we have to order a new size which will take a month. My fingers are too small.. The ring is very simple, so don't expect anything fancy. heee.. =)
I am lacking in so many things. My supervisors don't think I'm improving. I don't know if I still have that confidence or strength to go on. I don't let my parents know about it, though.
I still wake up at 5 a.m, to be at work by 6 a.m. At times I get to work by 7 a.m because I overslept and I won't have time to review all my patients by 8.30 am, and I get scolded for not knowing my patient's progress or when I forgot to fill in their latest blood results or when I mixed up my patients. And they say "potong 1 jam gaji" because I woke up late. And they'll say "You know, during my time as a houseman I took care of 28 patients!" I understand that, and I am severely impressed by how they did it! Anyway, I never went back on time. I always end up staying 1 or 2 hours later anyway but I won't get that extra pay. They should know right? Even they don't always go back on time either.
By the time I got back, I never open my books. I don't have the mood, because all I want is SLEEP. My precious precious sleep. I want 12 hours of sleep.
The cycle goes on, and I get scolded for not knowing the pathology of a disease or the aetiology or the common symptoms. I get scolded because I never revised at home. Yes, 7 years of med school and I still can't remember what bacterias cause Pneumonia. heh. 5 months of holiday, I didn't even open any books. So, yeah.
I just don't know what will happen. Everyone said it'll get better, but will it really? With my current situation, no one says I'm improving, and I don't even have that feeling where I want to prove them wrong.....
Anyway, apart from my depression. We found the perfect engagement ring for me! Finally!!! Although, we have to order a new size which will take a month. My fingers are too small.. The ring is very simple, so don't expect anything fancy. heee.. =)
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Oh Babies!
Patient's mom: Doktor, doktor dah ada anak ke?
Me: Belum... Kahwin pun belum
Patient's mom: Ohhh.... ye ke? Pandai la pegang baby.. Saya pun tak reti camne nak pegang..
Me: ...... *smile* (dah hari2 pegang baby, camne tak terer >_<)
Oh babies.. they're fragile, but they're very very flexible.. =D
The only thing that make Paeds fun, is playing with the babies...
Me: Belum... Kahwin pun belum
Patient's mom: Ohhh.... ye ke? Pandai la pegang baby.. Saya pun tak reti camne nak pegang..
Me: ...... *smile* (dah hari2 pegang baby, camne tak terer >_<)
Oh babies.. they're fragile, but they're very very flexible.. =D
The only thing that make Paeds fun, is playing with the babies...
I feel bad everytime I have to poke these cute little creatures!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tired, Exhausted and Drained... on NY's eve..
Hey peeps.. you guys know how I always reviewed my year's resolution and make new ones on New Year's Eve?
Well, yeah..
I think I might have to skip this year's.. I have been working for 2 weeks now.. from 6am to 10pm daily.. One day off (THANK GOD!)
I rarely see the sun.
You'd thought that only happens in Moscow. Nope, it still is happening to me now...
I even forgot how it is to feel hungry.
OH! Not to mention the screwing I got from all the Specialist and MOs... Made me feel like, what have I been doing 7 years in Med School. How is it possible that I am still this blur! Sigh..
I just hope, things will get better along the way..
I have to do an NRP test within this 2 weeks, or I'm guaranteed an extension in this Department!
But I think I am expecting that.. I just don't know how to manage my time yet, and I can't get used to sleeping less than 5 hours.... I kept oversleeping!
Anyway, my current home is near the hospital, and my bedroom view is KLCC. Gorgeous view! Very de-stressing..
Tonight is New Year's Eve, but I don't think I'll wait until midnight to see the fireworks. I currently feel like a ZOMBIE!!
Okay peeps.. till the next post!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! ;))
Well, yeah..
I think I might have to skip this year's.. I have been working for 2 weeks now.. from 6am to 10pm daily.. One day off (THANK GOD!)
I rarely see the sun.
You'd thought that only happens in Moscow. Nope, it still is happening to me now...
I even forgot how it is to feel hungry.
OH! Not to mention the screwing I got from all the Specialist and MOs... Made me feel like, what have I been doing 7 years in Med School. How is it possible that I am still this blur! Sigh..
I just hope, things will get better along the way..
I have to do an NRP test within this 2 weeks, or I'm guaranteed an extension in this Department!
But I think I am expecting that.. I just don't know how to manage my time yet, and I can't get used to sleeping less than 5 hours.... I kept oversleeping!
Anyway, my current home is near the hospital, and my bedroom view is KLCC. Gorgeous view! Very de-stressing..
Tonight is New Year's Eve, but I don't think I'll wait until midnight to see the fireworks. I currently feel like a ZOMBIE!!
Okay peeps.. till the next post!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! ;))
The view from my room
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Chapter 2: Working Life
This will be my last post as a student. As of 17th December, I am officially a government servant working under the Health Ministry.
Unfortunately, I didn't get posted to Hospital Tengku Ampuan Afzan Kuantan. Somehow, all the housemen posts in Kuantan is all filled up. I got Hospital Selayang instead. No one from my induction batch got Kuantan. Nonetheless, I shall keep a positive mind and accept what Allah has planned for me.
I am leaving Kuantan today. Right now, I am still trying to sort things out and get the packing done.. Sigh..
I have memory of going back to Moscow. I hate packing....
Unfortunately, I didn't get posted to Hospital Tengku Ampuan Afzan Kuantan. Somehow, all the housemen posts in Kuantan is all filled up. I got Hospital Selayang instead. No one from my induction batch got Kuantan. Nonetheless, I shall keep a positive mind and accept what Allah has planned for me.
I am leaving Kuantan today. Right now, I am still trying to sort things out and get the packing done.. Sigh..
I have memory of going back to Moscow. I hate packing....
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Wake Up Call!
Oh God! The letter finally arrived. After 4 months of a looooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnngggg holiday, I'm finally going to start working!
I'll know which hospital I'll be posted to on the first day of Induction, which is on the 11th of December according to the letter.
This means, I have less than a week left to do and prepare whatever I need and want before going to Kajang!
Suddenly I feel like I'm not so ready to work. But life has to move on, I can't live off my parents for the rest of my life and what a waste of my medical degree.. haha..
Anyway, WISH ME THE BEST OF LUCK, will you? =S
I'll know which hospital I'll be posted to on the first day of Induction, which is on the 11th of December according to the letter.
This means, I have less than a week left to do and prepare whatever I need and want before going to Kajang!
Suddenly I feel like I'm not so ready to work. But life has to move on, I can't live off my parents for the rest of my life and what a waste of my medical degree.. haha..
Anyway, WISH ME THE BEST OF LUCK, will you? =S
Dr. Maimuna reporting for duty
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Pre Graduation Photoshoot
Yesterday, we had our pre-graduation photoshoot. Here are some photos! I can't believe I'm graduating!
Group 65 with the dean.
Karthina was missing because she had to go to work. It's so sad that our group was incomplete! ;(
Karthina was missing because she had to go to work. It's so sad that our group was incomplete! ;(
Group 64 and 65 in front of Uni.
Now, I have to get back to studying.. I have Tropical Disease exam tomorrow, but I'm not putting too much hopes for it. I can repeat the exam any day before the sem ends, if I fail, but Nauzubillah.. I really hope I'll pass! back to books!! Wish me luck peeps!
Dr. Maimuna, RNRMU(RSMU), MD.
Soon! InsyaAllah.
"Ya Allah, semoga Engkau lancarkan segala urusanku. Amin"
Friday, April 6, 2012
Last Day with Dr. T
Today was the last day of class with Dr. T. We'll only see him again on Wednesday for the 1st part of Therapy Exam. So sad. ='( Maybe we'll meet him again during electives and 2nd part of exam in June, but still.. It's so sad. We had so much fun with him. Not to mention the sugar rush we got every single day! >.<
So we took a few photos with him before we parted.
So we took a few photos with him before we parted.
 |
| The beetle among the roses? hehe |
 |
| "peace!" |
Isn't he adorable? haha..
Kumar didn't attend class, that's why he's missing from the group pictures. But I think the picture turned out great! I really like the last picture. ;)
We bought a gift for him, and we gave it to him just now. He looked surprised when Sasha suddenly got up to get the gift from the cupboard. When we pass the gift to him he was holding it like he was afraid someone was going to take it away. Haha! He's such a funny guy..
We are so blessed to be able to spend 4 and 1/2 weeks with him. Hopefully he'll keep his promise and contact us if he ever visits Malaysia. ;)
Let us prepare for Dr. T withdrawal syndrome now! and I better get to studying for the exam now! >_<"
Monday, April 2, 2012
Sugar High
Dr T had to go somewhere today and tomorrow, so he'll be missing our class for 2 days.. or maybe Wednesday too he said but he hoped, he'll make it on Wednesday. Not so sure where he went though.
Today, only me and Za went to class. We went into the office room to keep our bags and shoes. When we opened the cupboard, sheets of papers with a piece of post-it noted "For you to read" pasted on the papers. Me and Za were like "Awwwwww....." Why does he has to be so sweet? Ok, I know I'm over acting it. I know they're just medical journals but it's not easy to get a cute, male or even any teacher as sweet and caring as him in Moscow.
Today, only me and Za went to class. We went into the office room to keep our bags and shoes. When we opened the cupboard, sheets of papers with a piece of post-it noted "For you to read" pasted on the papers. Me and Za were like "Awwwwww....." Why does he has to be so sweet? Ok, I know I'm over acting it. I know they're just medical journals but it's not easy to get a cute, male or even any teacher as sweet and caring as him in Moscow.
Sir, do you really need to be so romantic?
I swear, by the end of this 5 weeks, either we get a super high sugar high or diabetes! If only you know him like we do. Then you wouldn't even think I'm over-exaggerating about him. ;-P
How in the world does he even able to make us go "Aww", even when he's not around? =)
How in the world does he even able to make us go "Aww", even when he's not around? =)
Friday, March 23, 2012
Overdosed
I'm currently in Therapy/Medical cycle right now...
So we're with Dr. T again!! We had Dr. T. in 5th year 1st semester.. We already aimed him since last semester to get him this semester because we'll be spending 5 weeks in Medical this semester and WHAT LUCK! We got him! (I said too many "semesters" in this sentence)
2 and 1/2 weeks just passed by so fast. He's so adorable and such a sweetheart. Not to mention charming and kind and of course very smart! Plus, he's only 29 years old! Sighhhh...
Imagine my class has 6 girls and 1 guy. Every single day we'll be like "AWWWWW..." every time he does something sweet.
He was telling us about a rabbit that came by his house and eating all the plants in his garden (Honestly, I don't know how he actually grew a garden in winter. Maybe they were plants in pots?) So he caught the rabbit the other day, and he told us that rabbit is a male. And he gave us the honor to name the rabbit!! The whole class went "Awwwwwwwww~"...
I think I'm having too much of his sweetness. I haven't miss class yet, while the others have, and I think I'm overdosing on his sweetness. Now I'm considering to miss at least 1 day of class just to shake off those sweet stuffs, but at the same time, I'll feel a bit of regret missing class for no reason. I rarely ever miss class.
Today, finally we sat in a room. Since his office is under renovation, we've been having classes at the hospital's corridor. Sitting on the sofa at the patient's "living room", I supposed. We borrowed Dr. Shaidyuk's room since she'll be away until 31st March. There was a coffee machine in the room. Then he asked out of a sudden, "Do you guys want coffee?". Of course we said, "No, thanks. It's ok". Then he said, "No, I want coffee and I don't want to drink alone". So he went off washing the cups and prepared coffee for us. He was the barista for the day. All of us looked at each other so awkwardly! LOL!
So we sat, drinking coffee and talking about coffee. Yeah, it was so weird. but he's so sweet! >_<
I'm telling you, I'm overdosing.
So sad, that only 2 and 1/2 weeks left...
So we're with Dr. T again!! We had Dr. T. in 5th year 1st semester.. We already aimed him since last semester to get him this semester because we'll be spending 5 weeks in Medical this semester and WHAT LUCK! We got him! (I said too many "semesters" in this sentence)
2 and 1/2 weeks just passed by so fast. He's so adorable and such a sweetheart. Not to mention charming and kind and of course very smart! Plus, he's only 29 years old! Sighhhh...
Imagine my class has 6 girls and 1 guy. Every single day we'll be like "AWWWWW..." every time he does something sweet.
He was telling us about a rabbit that came by his house and eating all the plants in his garden (Honestly, I don't know how he actually grew a garden in winter. Maybe they were plants in pots?) So he caught the rabbit the other day, and he told us that rabbit is a male. And he gave us the honor to name the rabbit!! The whole class went "Awwwwwwwww~"...
I think I'm having too much of his sweetness. I haven't miss class yet, while the others have, and I think I'm overdosing on his sweetness. Now I'm considering to miss at least 1 day of class just to shake off those sweet stuffs, but at the same time, I'll feel a bit of regret missing class for no reason. I rarely ever miss class.
Today, finally we sat in a room. Since his office is under renovation, we've been having classes at the hospital's corridor. Sitting on the sofa at the patient's "living room", I supposed. We borrowed Dr. Shaidyuk's room since she'll be away until 31st March. There was a coffee machine in the room. Then he asked out of a sudden, "Do you guys want coffee?". Of course we said, "No, thanks. It's ok". Then he said, "No, I want coffee and I don't want to drink alone". So he went off washing the cups and prepared coffee for us. He was the barista for the day. All of us looked at each other so awkwardly! LOL!
So we sat, drinking coffee and talking about coffee. Yeah, it was so weird. but he's so sweet! >_<
I'm telling you, I'm overdosing.
So sad, that only 2 and 1/2 weeks left...
Monday, January 23, 2012
Keep Calm and....
HUWAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I'M CURRENTLY, OFFICIALLY PANICKING!!!! MY HEART CAN'T STAY CALM AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!
EXAM'S IN LESS THAN 36 HOURS AND I FEEL LIKE I KNOW SHIT NOTHING! THE LAST TIME I FELT LIKE THIS WAS DURING MY OPERATIVE SURGERY EXAM!!!
AND TO MAKE MATTER WORSE, I HAVE A PLANE TO MADRID TO CATCH AT 6.50PM!!!! means I HAVE TO BE AT THE AIRPORT BY 5.30 PM. And I have no idea what time my exam will finish. It's an oral exam. So whoever goes first, finishes first. I could go in early. yes. IF I PASSED THE BLOODY MCQ QUESTIONS!!!!
It takes 1 hour 15 minutes from the hospital to the hostel, and 1 hour 40 minutes from the hostel to the airport. Means, I have to leave the hospital at 2PM if I want to reach the airport at 5PM.
arrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I'M SO PANICKING RIGHT NOW!!!
Please pray I'll pass my exams. Please pray I'll be at the airport by 5pm! I'M SO WORRIED... I want to cry... T_____________T
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Tick Tock
MY EXAM'S TOMORROW!!!
Ya Allah, please don't let this happen to me tomorrow.
May you ease all my concerns. Amin.
Wish me luck!!! >.<
Sunday, December 11, 2011
This is Our Life
Been reading too many blogs lately. HO blogs, MO blogs, Pharmacists blogs.
Every one of them complains. HO complains about the mistreatment of the MOs and specialist, about the WORKLOAD. MO complains about the attitudes of the HOs, about the WORKLOAD. Pharmacists complains about the attitudes of doctors, patients and the WORKLOAD.
People. It's the profession we chose. NO WORKLOAD = NO PATIENTS = NO WORK = NO MONEY.
Yeah. I'm not working yet. So shut up right? hrmm..
I hope I won't complain when I start working. That would be shameful. heh. :-|
Every one of them complains. HO complains about the mistreatment of the MOs and specialist, about the WORKLOAD. MO complains about the attitudes of the HOs, about the WORKLOAD. Pharmacists complains about the attitudes of doctors, patients and the WORKLOAD.
People. It's the profession we chose. NO WORKLOAD = NO PATIENTS = NO WORK = NO MONEY.
Yeah. I'm not working yet. So shut up right? hrmm..
I hope I won't complain when I start working. That would be shameful. heh. :-|
Monday, October 3, 2011
1, 2, 3...
Had an interesting discussion with our lecturer today. I'm currently in the middle of Tropical Diseases cycle. It's one of the most important cycles and it's specially for foreign students only. The Russian students don't have this cycle apparently. Because working in a tropical country, you basically can't run from tropical diseases. duh~ >.<
Anyway, our lecturer inserts some interesting current issues just to make the class not boring. So that we'll use our brain and have something to discuss about.
Just now, he asked our opinion whether prostitution should be made legal to reduce AIDS. Of course as a Muslim, I would say no. But he said, if prostitution was medically certified and strictly monitored, it could reduce the spreading of AIDS as well as benefit for the government to charge taxes. (Macam Amsterdam lah pulak)
Because, how do you control sex urges of young men? How do you release the muscle tension (that's what he said) of young men? We don't want young women to get pregnant, and young men don't want to carry out the responsibility of marriage at the age of 16 to 21. We are born as a sexual being. Sex is a need. And for once I didn't hear a man blaming women for their sexual urges, but then again, he's not a Muslim (Or any other religion that prevents premarital sex - but he said he's a Christian. Maybe not a Catholic?)
But how do you prevent it? People kept saying, we need to increase our faith. The problem now, people are lacking in faith to God. Unwanted teenage pregnancies and babies being thrown in garbage is because humans are lacking faith. But how do you make people to become more faithful to God than lust? How do you ignore your desires when hormones are raging? Even a pious man will have those desires as we are created weak. Yes, we can always ask God to guide us, but what about those who won't listen. Do we just let AIDS roaming and spreading? Do we let people keep throwing babies? Do we have the ability to separate men and women?
How do you prevent lust? Cover women up from head to toe? I will always wonder if that will ever be the solution since people are making it into such a big deal. But my mother said, it doesn't matter if you cover your body and only your eyes are visible. A woman is a woman, even if you can't see it, you know what is underneath.
Wallahualam. I pray for Allah to give me guidance and hidayah, since sometimes I may stray. I hope he shall show us the right path to heaven and protect me from sins. InsyaAllah.
Anyway, our lecturer inserts some interesting current issues just to make the class not boring. So that we'll use our brain and have something to discuss about.
Just now, he asked our opinion whether prostitution should be made legal to reduce AIDS. Of course as a Muslim, I would say no. But he said, if prostitution was medically certified and strictly monitored, it could reduce the spreading of AIDS as well as benefit for the government to charge taxes. (Macam Amsterdam lah pulak)
Because, how do you control sex urges of young men? How do you release the muscle tension (that's what he said) of young men? We don't want young women to get pregnant, and young men don't want to carry out the responsibility of marriage at the age of 16 to 21. We are born as a sexual being. Sex is a need. And for once I didn't hear a man blaming women for their sexual urges, but then again, he's not a Muslim (Or any other religion that prevents premarital sex - but he said he's a Christian. Maybe not a Catholic?)
But how do you prevent it? People kept saying, we need to increase our faith. The problem now, people are lacking in faith to God. Unwanted teenage pregnancies and babies being thrown in garbage is because humans are lacking faith. But how do you make people to become more faithful to God than lust? How do you ignore your desires when hormones are raging? Even a pious man will have those desires as we are created weak. Yes, we can always ask God to guide us, but what about those who won't listen. Do we just let AIDS roaming and spreading? Do we let people keep throwing babies? Do we have the ability to separate men and women?
“Allah would make the burden light for you, for the human being was created weak.”
[Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 28]
How do you prevent lust? Cover women up from head to toe? I will always wonder if that will ever be the solution since people are making it into such a big deal. But my mother said, it doesn't matter if you cover your body and only your eyes are visible. A woman is a woman, even if you can't see it, you know what is underneath.
Wallahualam. I pray for Allah to give me guidance and hidayah, since sometimes I may stray. I hope he shall show us the right path to heaven and protect me from sins. InsyaAllah.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Upsetting
I must admit that everyone always complain about something. Sometimes they still complain about something that doesn't need complaining. But complains won't come if everyone does a good job. True that we can't satisfy everyone but at least we should do our job with sincerity and hardwork, and try to make everyone happy. It is our duty after all, especially when our job require us to handle people.
I just read Mr. Duncan's blog (he's a Brit married to a Malaysian currently living in Kuantan) where he complained about HTAA poor hospitality.
Lately the medical field has been overwhelmed with a lot of complains. Or is it me that has been reading a lot or is it because I'm graduating soon. Either way, if it's not the doctors that are complaining, it's the patients. I think both complains are directed to the government, and yet we see no improvements.
There will always be lazy workers anywhere you are. But I believe that Malaysian's doctors are a little overworked, but who am I to say, I am still a student. I don't know about that and most of the senior doctors said it's for the better, it'll make us better doctors. Who are we, the students or junior doctors to argue. Even worst, I'm not studying locally, I don't know the system. But when we see patients complains, it just breaks my heart. It is just upsetting. Nurses? no comment.
True, perhaps we became better in curing their diseases but not in treating them. Why do patients feel like we're treating them like crap? Why? Just because they paid RM 1 for our services? They don't deserve at least an explanation about their well being, or their families don't deserve to know about their well being?
I hear doctors complain about patients all the time too. Yes. Sometimes for RM 1 service they do ask us too much, I think. But then again, didn't we chose this job? Didn't we know what was coming for us? Weren't we prepared to treat patients in curing and handling them with care?
I hate when people complains and I hate it more when nothing had been done to solve the matter.
Let's hear this again, my point of view of government hospitals when I start working in 1 year time. Cuakkksss! >.<" Maybe I'll hate it at first, and love it later like Dr. Hannan =)
PS: APA KERJA SEKALI PUN YANG DIAMANAHKAN KEPADA KITA, WALAUPUN BUKAN SESUATU YANG KITA SUKA, BUAT LAH DENGAN SEIKHLAS-IKHLASNYA. ITULAH YANG TERBAIK.
I just read Mr. Duncan's blog (he's a Brit married to a Malaysian currently living in Kuantan) where he complained about HTAA poor hospitality.
Lately the medical field has been overwhelmed with a lot of complains. Or is it me that has been reading a lot or is it because I'm graduating soon. Either way, if it's not the doctors that are complaining, it's the patients. I think both complains are directed to the government, and yet we see no improvements.
There will always be lazy workers anywhere you are. But I believe that Malaysian's doctors are a little overworked, but who am I to say, I am still a student. I don't know about that and most of the senior doctors said it's for the better, it'll make us better doctors. Who are we, the students or junior doctors to argue. Even worst, I'm not studying locally, I don't know the system. But when we see patients complains, it just breaks my heart. It is just upsetting. Nurses? no comment.
True, perhaps we became better in curing their diseases but not in treating them. Why do patients feel like we're treating them like crap? Why? Just because they paid RM 1 for our services? They don't deserve at least an explanation about their well being, or their families don't deserve to know about their well being?
I hear doctors complain about patients all the time too. Yes. Sometimes for RM 1 service they do ask us too much, I think. But then again, didn't we chose this job? Didn't we know what was coming for us? Weren't we prepared to treat patients in curing and handling them with care?
I hate when people complains and I hate it more when nothing had been done to solve the matter.
Let's hear this again, my point of view of government hospitals when I start working in 1 year time. Cuakkksss! >.<" Maybe I'll hate it at first, and love it later like Dr. Hannan =)
PS: APA KERJA SEKALI PUN YANG DIAMANAHKAN KEPADA KITA, WALAUPUN BUKAN SESUATU YANG KITA SUKA, BUAT LAH DENGAN SEIKHLAS-IKHLASNYA. ITULAH YANG TERBAIK.
"Kamu diwajibkan berperang (untuk menentang pencerobohan) sedang peperangan itu ialah perkara yang kamu benci; dan boleh jadi kamu benci kepada sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi kamu suka kepada sesuatu padahal ia buruk bagi kamu. Dan (ingatlah), Allah jualah Yang mengetahui (semuanya itu), sedang kamu tidak mengetahuinya."
- Al-Quran (2:216)
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