Sometimes, I get flashbacks of my patients that has passed. Mostly I thought the ones that died because of my incompetence and carelessness in my judgement.
They said you're not a good doctor if you never killed anyone.
But have I sinned? Killing is a sin. Some days I wonder. If my incompentence and carelessness cause them death. Is it a sin?
It's bad thinking about it. Sometimes the guilt is just too overwhelming. Although most of the time they were unexpected. Like you never thought the outcome would be that way because patient was so well until you gave one medication that was supposed to be contraindicated.
I really feel sad for him. He and his wife waited for hours in the emergency department. If only the surgical team had reviewed him earlier. I don't want to blame anyone. Wished I had better judgement that day. It's already almost 6 months had pass since the incident yet I'm still having difficulties forgetting that moment. I felt guilty because they waited for hours in the emergency department and he ended up dead. I felt guilty for his wife that waited beside him. I just really felt guilty. He seemed so well when he came.
I am so sorry.
Dear Allah, I hope you forgive me.
Dear uncle and auntie and the rest of your family, I hope you forgive me too.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Friday, April 3, 2015
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Career path
The more I stay in this career path, the more I hate this job.
There is not one day that I haven't thought of quitting from becoming a doctor.
There is not one day that I haven't thought of quitting from becoming a doctor.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Wedding Jitters
I think bB is getting a little bit over stressed about the wedding. Especially when everything I like seems to be over RM1000+
I am in love with this designer Arma Abd Rahman Wedding Couture but the price! OMG.. I could just faint. Although, most wedding couture prices ranges about the same. But bB seem to disagree with me to spend too much for a wedding dress. And I need 3 wedding dresses. T_T
So for now, I gave up on searching for a tailor. I'm just going to ask my mom to find me a good and not-so-expensive tailor with (hopefully) a good workmanship for my wedding dresses.
Then I started searching for a make up artist. Took me almost a week of searching, from Google to Facebook to Instagram. So I found this lady, Lin Elier whose workmanship is so natural and so lovely and so gorgeous and then I found out she's charging RM1000 per session and my heart just breaks. Later I found out it's the same make up artist that did Farisa's reception. So pretty okay!!
My heart just kept breaking every time I start searching for my wedding things.
The problem with me is I want it grand, or at least look grand. Every one said it wouldn't matter, but it matters to me. I want to be satisfied. I don't want to regret anything later. If only money wasn't the problem.
Sigh...
I am in love with this designer Arma Abd Rahman Wedding Couture but the price! OMG.. I could just faint. Although, most wedding couture prices ranges about the same. But bB seem to disagree with me to spend too much for a wedding dress. And I need 3 wedding dresses. T_T
So for now, I gave up on searching for a tailor. I'm just going to ask my mom to find me a good and not-so-expensive tailor with (hopefully) a good workmanship for my wedding dresses.
Then I started searching for a make up artist. Took me almost a week of searching, from Google to Facebook to Instagram. So I found this lady, Lin Elier whose workmanship is so natural and so lovely and so gorgeous and then I found out she's charging RM1000 per session and my heart just breaks. Later I found out it's the same make up artist that did Farisa's reception. So pretty okay!!
My heart just kept breaking every time I start searching for my wedding things.
The problem with me is I want it grand, or at least look grand. Every one said it wouldn't matter, but it matters to me. I want to be satisfied. I don't want to regret anything later. If only money wasn't the problem.
Sigh...
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Stolen ring
My engagement ring was stolen!
bB's house in Muar was broken into.. twice!! Most of his numimastic collection is gone along with my engagement ring..
I'm so sad..... :(
It took us months to find the perfect ring, and we had to wait another month for the ring to be done, because we had to order my finger size, plus the engraving. Now it's gone.
1 more week till my engagement day. I don't know what's bB's plan is. All I know is, I don't think we can get the same ring done again in 1 week time. Sigh.....
What an unfortunate day... :'(((((
I hope someone finds that motherf**ker who stole everything and cut him into pieces!!! I hope he'll get everything that he deserves! What an asshole. GRRRRRRRRRR.......
Can't we live in an honest environment? I'm so depressed...
I hope nothing bad will happen after this.. Please pray my ceremony will go smoothly..
bB's house in Muar was broken into.. twice!! Most of his numimastic collection is gone along with my engagement ring..
I'm so sad..... :(
It took us months to find the perfect ring, and we had to wait another month for the ring to be done, because we had to order my finger size, plus the engraving. Now it's gone.
1 more week till my engagement day. I don't know what's bB's plan is. All I know is, I don't think we can get the same ring done again in 1 week time. Sigh.....
What an unfortunate day... :'(((((
I hope someone finds that motherf**ker who stole everything and cut him into pieces!!! I hope he'll get everything that he deserves! What an asshole. GRRRRRRRRRR.......
Can't we live in an honest environment? I'm so depressed...
I hope nothing bad will happen after this.. Please pray my ceremony will go smoothly..
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Extension, is it a bad thing?
I got a threat from my specialist that I might get extended..
Shit...
Lets just hope he was kidding.
Shit...
Lets just hope he was kidding.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Where is my heart?
I'm struggling to find back my passion towards medicine. I used to love it so much. I mean, I still love medicine, but when I am back from work, all I can about is sleep. Even when I am at work, all I can think about is sleep. I WANT SLEEP.
I am lacking in so many things. My supervisors don't think I'm improving. I don't know if I still have that confidence or strength to go on. I don't let my parents know about it, though.
I still wake up at 5 a.m, to be at work by 6 a.m. At times I get to work by 7 a.m because I overslept and I won't have time to review all my patients by 8.30 am, and I get scolded for not knowing my patient's progress or when I forgot to fill in their latest blood results or when I mixed up my patients. And they say "potong 1 jam gaji" because I woke up late. And they'll say "You know, during my time as a houseman I took care of 28 patients!" I understand that, and I am severely impressed by how they did it! Anyway, I never went back on time. I always end up staying 1 or 2 hours later anyway but I won't get that extra pay. They should know right? Even they don't always go back on time either.
By the time I got back, I never open my books. I don't have the mood, because all I want is SLEEP. My precious precious sleep. I want 12 hours of sleep.
The cycle goes on, and I get scolded for not knowing the pathology of a disease or the aetiology or the common symptoms. I get scolded because I never revised at home. Yes, 7 years of med school and I still can't remember what bacterias cause Pneumonia. heh. 5 months of holiday, I didn't even open any books. So, yeah.
I just don't know what will happen. Everyone said it'll get better, but will it really? With my current situation, no one says I'm improving, and I don't even have that feeling where I want to prove them wrong.....
Anyway, apart from my depression. We found the perfect engagement ring for me! Finally!!! Although, we have to order a new size which will take a month. My fingers are too small.. The ring is very simple, so don't expect anything fancy. heee.. =)
I am lacking in so many things. My supervisors don't think I'm improving. I don't know if I still have that confidence or strength to go on. I don't let my parents know about it, though.
I still wake up at 5 a.m, to be at work by 6 a.m. At times I get to work by 7 a.m because I overslept and I won't have time to review all my patients by 8.30 am, and I get scolded for not knowing my patient's progress or when I forgot to fill in their latest blood results or when I mixed up my patients. And they say "potong 1 jam gaji" because I woke up late. And they'll say "You know, during my time as a houseman I took care of 28 patients!" I understand that, and I am severely impressed by how they did it! Anyway, I never went back on time. I always end up staying 1 or 2 hours later anyway but I won't get that extra pay. They should know right? Even they don't always go back on time either.
By the time I got back, I never open my books. I don't have the mood, because all I want is SLEEP. My precious precious sleep. I want 12 hours of sleep.
The cycle goes on, and I get scolded for not knowing the pathology of a disease or the aetiology or the common symptoms. I get scolded because I never revised at home. Yes, 7 years of med school and I still can't remember what bacterias cause Pneumonia. heh. 5 months of holiday, I didn't even open any books. So, yeah.
I just don't know what will happen. Everyone said it'll get better, but will it really? With my current situation, no one says I'm improving, and I don't even have that feeling where I want to prove them wrong.....
Anyway, apart from my depression. We found the perfect engagement ring for me! Finally!!! Although, we have to order a new size which will take a month. My fingers are too small.. The ring is very simple, so don't expect anything fancy. heee.. =)
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tired, Exhausted and Drained... on NY's eve..
Hey peeps.. you guys know how I always reviewed my year's resolution and make new ones on New Year's Eve?
Well, yeah..
I think I might have to skip this year's.. I have been working for 2 weeks now.. from 6am to 10pm daily.. One day off (THANK GOD!)
I rarely see the sun.
You'd thought that only happens in Moscow. Nope, it still is happening to me now...
I even forgot how it is to feel hungry.
OH! Not to mention the screwing I got from all the Specialist and MOs... Made me feel like, what have I been doing 7 years in Med School. How is it possible that I am still this blur! Sigh..
I just hope, things will get better along the way..
I have to do an NRP test within this 2 weeks, or I'm guaranteed an extension in this Department!
But I think I am expecting that.. I just don't know how to manage my time yet, and I can't get used to sleeping less than 5 hours.... I kept oversleeping!
Anyway, my current home is near the hospital, and my bedroom view is KLCC. Gorgeous view! Very de-stressing..
Tonight is New Year's Eve, but I don't think I'll wait until midnight to see the fireworks. I currently feel like a ZOMBIE!!
Okay peeps.. till the next post!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! ;))
Well, yeah..
I think I might have to skip this year's.. I have been working for 2 weeks now.. from 6am to 10pm daily.. One day off (THANK GOD!)
I rarely see the sun.
You'd thought that only happens in Moscow. Nope, it still is happening to me now...
I even forgot how it is to feel hungry.
OH! Not to mention the screwing I got from all the Specialist and MOs... Made me feel like, what have I been doing 7 years in Med School. How is it possible that I am still this blur! Sigh..
I just hope, things will get better along the way..
I have to do an NRP test within this 2 weeks, or I'm guaranteed an extension in this Department!
But I think I am expecting that.. I just don't know how to manage my time yet, and I can't get used to sleeping less than 5 hours.... I kept oversleeping!
Anyway, my current home is near the hospital, and my bedroom view is KLCC. Gorgeous view! Very de-stressing..
Tonight is New Year's Eve, but I don't think I'll wait until midnight to see the fireworks. I currently feel like a ZOMBIE!!
Okay peeps.. till the next post!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! ;))
The view from my room
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Wake Up Call!
Oh God! The letter finally arrived. After 4 months of a looooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnngggg holiday, I'm finally going to start working!
I'll know which hospital I'll be posted to on the first day of Induction, which is on the 11th of December according to the letter.
This means, I have less than a week left to do and prepare whatever I need and want before going to Kajang!
Suddenly I feel like I'm not so ready to work. But life has to move on, I can't live off my parents for the rest of my life and what a waste of my medical degree.. haha..
Anyway, WISH ME THE BEST OF LUCK, will you? =S
I'll know which hospital I'll be posted to on the first day of Induction, which is on the 11th of December according to the letter.
This means, I have less than a week left to do and prepare whatever I need and want before going to Kajang!
Suddenly I feel like I'm not so ready to work. But life has to move on, I can't live off my parents for the rest of my life and what a waste of my medical degree.. haha..
Anyway, WISH ME THE BEST OF LUCK, will you? =S
Dr. Maimuna reporting for duty
Thursday, November 22, 2012
One Big Little Step
Oh! We can't decide on an engagement date!!!
He wants it to be January, but I'll be just starting work in January. He wants it to be done before he goes into Medical Department. Otherwise he said it'll be in 2014. But I think I need time to adapt myself to work and I don't think I can divide my time and energy between working and arranging an engagement ceremony!
I want it to be simple but even if I just invite family and close friends, you must know, my father has 16 siblings (from 4 mothers) and my mother has 9 siblings (from 1 mother). Count all the cousins, nieces, nephews and grandchildren and that just makes the ceremony far from simple, I think.
And you must know the Malays. You can't invite one person, without inviting the other person. Even if you don't fancy that one aunt. In the end, I'm sure my mother will spread the words around anyway...
Plus, I can't just let my mother do all the preparations! I want to be in it too since it's my ceremony too!
What if I'm still tagging at that time or what if I got Medical or Surgical or Obstetrics Department as my first post?! Wouldn't that be difficult for me too? I mean, he's already adapt to work almost a year now, and I am just starting. I am afraid that stress will get to me, and the ceremony will be a disaster because I easily breakdown if things don't go my way...
Oh, this is so stressful.... and this is just thinking about the date! Not yet the actual planning!
He wants it to be January, but I'll be just starting work in January. He wants it to be done before he goes into Medical Department. Otherwise he said it'll be in 2014. But I think I need time to adapt myself to work and I don't think I can divide my time and energy between working and arranging an engagement ceremony!
I want it to be simple but even if I just invite family and close friends, you must know, my father has 16 siblings (from 4 mothers) and my mother has 9 siblings (from 1 mother). Count all the cousins, nieces, nephews and grandchildren and that just makes the ceremony far from simple, I think.
And you must know the Malays. You can't invite one person, without inviting the other person. Even if you don't fancy that one aunt. In the end, I'm sure my mother will spread the words around anyway...
Plus, I can't just let my mother do all the preparations! I want to be in it too since it's my ceremony too!
What if I'm still tagging at that time or what if I got Medical or Surgical or Obstetrics Department as my first post?! Wouldn't that be difficult for me too? I mean, he's already adapt to work almost a year now, and I am just starting. I am afraid that stress will get to me, and the ceremony will be a disaster because I easily breakdown if things don't go my way...
Oh, this is so stressful.... and this is just thinking about the date! Not yet the actual planning!
Friday, July 13, 2012
Busy Busy Busy!!!
Things to do before going home:
pack stuffs for cargodalam borang tulis 25KG, harini timbang 30KG derr!!!! ahhh! hopefully everything will be fine tomorrow >_<go to airport to send cargoAlhamdulillah. All done. Hopefully it'll arrive safely in KLIA on Tuesday.buy souvenirs and stuffs friends requestedtak sempat nak belikan Farah punya labcoat je. Lambat sangat bagitausend clothes to charitytetiba rasa sayang la plak barang2 yang dah dipergi, takkan kembali. ;(give juniors some more stuffsstart packing for home
Just left little stuffs to be put in my backpack and handbag.
I'm tired............ =___=
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Too Many Things Happening At Once!
I haven't gotten enough sleep for the past 3 days. Trying to settle stuffs before the graduation. Had to give back all my books to the library, had to pay extension fees of the hostel, had to go up and down the university to get stamps so I can get my degree certificate on graduation day. I have to clean my room for the arrival of my mother and I have to pack stuffs for cargo! argh! I'm so tired!
I had so many unpublished posts. My Kazan Trip posts is 1/4 done. I still can't find time to watermark the pictures. I wanted to write about the time I went to LINKIN PARK concert earlier this month which is my MOST AWESOME CONCERT EXPERIENCE, and it would be left in vain if I don't write about it.
Anyway, my mom and aunt is arriving tomorrow. Please pray for their safe journey and arrival.
I had so many unpublished posts. My Kazan Trip posts is 1/4 done. I still can't find time to watermark the pictures. I wanted to write about the time I went to LINKIN PARK concert earlier this month which is my MOST AWESOME CONCERT EXPERIENCE, and it would be left in vain if I don't write about it.
Anyway, my mom and aunt is arriving tomorrow. Please pray for their safe journey and arrival.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Nothing Left to Lose
Last final paper tomorrow! Last final battle in med school!
Nothing left to choose, nothing left to lose!
Wish me luck peeps!
May Allah swt help with with ease tomorrow... Amin...
May Allah swt help with with ease tomorrow... Amin...
OK... start panicking!!!! :S
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Delusional in Me
I keep telling myself it's the distance, it's just in my head. How do I tell the person about things that I shouldn't have find out. I want my trust not to be broken and I want to be the person who can be trusted. I keep reminding myself, we are just merely humans. Maybe it's just a mistake. I hope it is nothing more than just a mistake. A mistake waiting to happen, and I don't know how to stop it. I don't want a broken promise, or a broken heart.
Is there space for mistakes, now? Sigh. I wish I wasn't so curious. True, that they say curiosity killed the cat.
If you're wondering, it's not me I'm worried about.
Since February my mind has been drifting back and forth about this. Although it's not constant, but how can I be sure? And though the person acted trustworthy, can I put all my trust in this person?
Note to self: Yang pergi menggatal bukak malam before exam tu kenapa? kan daaahhhhhhhh... PADAN MUKA!! T_T
Arghhhhhhh!!! WHERE'S YOUR FOCUS, ANNA?!! TOMORROW'S EXAM!!!
MY FINALS OF ALL FINALS STARTS TOMORROW. Wish me luck will you? =S
Monday, January 23, 2012
Keep Calm and....
HUWAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I'M CURRENTLY, OFFICIALLY PANICKING!!!! MY HEART CAN'T STAY CALM AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!
EXAM'S IN LESS THAN 36 HOURS AND I FEEL LIKE I KNOW SHIT NOTHING! THE LAST TIME I FELT LIKE THIS WAS DURING MY OPERATIVE SURGERY EXAM!!!
AND TO MAKE MATTER WORSE, I HAVE A PLANE TO MADRID TO CATCH AT 6.50PM!!!! means I HAVE TO BE AT THE AIRPORT BY 5.30 PM. And I have no idea what time my exam will finish. It's an oral exam. So whoever goes first, finishes first. I could go in early. yes. IF I PASSED THE BLOODY MCQ QUESTIONS!!!!
It takes 1 hour 15 minutes from the hospital to the hostel, and 1 hour 40 minutes from the hostel to the airport. Means, I have to leave the hospital at 2PM if I want to reach the airport at 5PM.
arrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I'M SO PANICKING RIGHT NOW!!!
Please pray I'll pass my exams. Please pray I'll be at the airport by 5pm! I'M SO WORRIED... I want to cry... T_____________T
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Tick Tock
MY EXAM'S TOMORROW!!!
Ya Allah, please don't let this happen to me tomorrow.
May you ease all my concerns. Amin.
Wish me luck!!! >.<
Monday, January 2, 2012
New Soul
First post of 2012!! woot woot!
Happy new year to those who're still on holidays and enjoying the New Year. ;)
As for me, I need to start STUDYING!!!! My exam's will be on 18th and 24th January. >.< How I wish I could skip those exams and wen't straight to my winter trip. But they're state exams! State Exams means, if you fail, you have to repeat the whole semester all over again... HUWAARGH! Doesn't that makes you feel better? NOT! As scared as I am, I find it very hard to start studying. Oh God, help me! My batchmates said, 6 years are taking it's toll, but I think I'm just being lazy. I hope my momentum is coming soon! I really need them!!
Anyway, now I'll be announcing where I'm going this winter break:
We'll be stopping by MADRID to MARRAKECH, to BARCELONA to LISBOA and back to Madrid before flying off to Moscow. These places are the reason I can't concentrate on the papers in front of me, because I keep wanting to search about the cities and make itineraries. Usually, my bB makes the bookings, the itineraries, the tours. I just follow. I'll be going with 4 more girls. Since I'm the leader for this trip, I'm a bit worried, because guys are usually more organize and has better sense of directions. That's why I'm like studying the cities one by one, so we won't get lost or waste energy. I really should transfer this energy to the exams coming up!! >_<
So wish me the best of luck for my finals and my winter trip! ^_^
Oh yeah. The city you all thought was San Francisco, it's actually Lisboa in Portugal. The bridge called 25 de Abril Bridge is actually a twin of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, USA. It was built by the same company that built the Golden Gate Bridge. Google it! ;-D
Happy new year to those who're still on holidays and enjoying the New Year. ;)
As for me, I need to start STUDYING!!!! My exam's will be on 18th and 24th January. >.< How I wish I could skip those exams and wen't straight to my winter trip. But they're state exams! State Exams means, if you fail, you have to repeat the whole semester all over again... HUWAARGH! Doesn't that makes you feel better? NOT! As scared as I am, I find it very hard to start studying. Oh God, help me! My batchmates said, 6 years are taking it's toll, but I think I'm just being lazy. I hope my momentum is coming soon! I really need them!!
Anyway, now I'll be announcing where I'm going this winter break:
We'll be stopping by MADRID to MARRAKECH, to BARCELONA to LISBOA and back to Madrid before flying off to Moscow. These places are the reason I can't concentrate on the papers in front of me, because I keep wanting to search about the cities and make itineraries. Usually, my bB makes the bookings, the itineraries, the tours. I just follow. I'll be going with 4 more girls. Since I'm the leader for this trip, I'm a bit worried, because guys are usually more organize and has better sense of directions. That's why I'm like studying the cities one by one, so we won't get lost or waste energy. I really should transfer this energy to the exams coming up!! >_<
So wish me the best of luck for my finals and my winter trip! ^_^
Oh yeah. The city you all thought was San Francisco, it's actually Lisboa in Portugal. The bridge called 25 de Abril Bridge is actually a twin of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, USA. It was built by the same company that built the Golden Gate Bridge. Google it! ;-D
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Gimme A Sign
It's been a week now. I've not cooled down. I actually feel more pissed than ever! I'm not even sure if he's serious about breaking up or not. Because he changed his profile picture of us two in Rome with a very sweet caption. So basically, I'm wondering,
Usually, after a fight, he'll let me be until he has cooled down or until I gave him a sign. Usually, I'm the one who goes back to him. So right now, within this week, I haven't exactly posted anything on Facebook that gives any sign that he can say 'hi' to me nor have I greet him in any way (chat, message, sms or even call). I just act like nothing ever happened. I'm doing my work like normal. Nothing's bothering me. I just want to see how much he actually cares about me, about this relationship.
Obviously I'm confused. Because he broke up with me. And then, he posted a profile picture of US.
I can't say 'hi' to him first. He was the one who dumped me!! I see him online all the time and I didn't even appear offline like I usually do whenever I'm pissed at him. So, what more sign does he actually need? Seriously, what does he think I am? A puppy? A doll? A freakin' cyborg??? sheeesh~!
For him to let me be alone and pissed for A WEEK says that he just doesn't care anymore for this relationship, but a profile picture of US??? wtf dude? get on with it. Why are you so freaking CONFUSING?!! Trying to make me piss off another week. That's so typically you.
S.A.J.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?
Usually, after a fight, he'll let me be until he has cooled down or until I gave him a sign. Usually, I'm the one who goes back to him. So right now, within this week, I haven't exactly posted anything on Facebook that gives any sign that he can say 'hi' to me nor have I greet him in any way (chat, message, sms or even call). I just act like nothing ever happened. I'm doing my work like normal. Nothing's bothering me. I just want to see how much he actually cares about me, about this relationship.
Obviously I'm confused. Because he broke up with me. And then, he posted a profile picture of US.
I can't say 'hi' to him first. He was the one who dumped me!! I see him online all the time and I didn't even appear offline like I usually do whenever I'm pissed at him. So, what more sign does he actually need? Seriously, what does he think I am? A puppy? A doll? A freakin' cyborg??? sheeesh~!
For him to let me be alone and pissed for A WEEK says that he just doesn't care anymore for this relationship, but a profile picture of US??? wtf dude? get on with it. Why are you so freaking CONFUSING?!! Trying to make me piss off another week. That's so typically you.
S.A.J.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Summer Heat
Packing for home now..
A bag is now full of clothes.. I'm bringing back 70% of my clothes from 6 years ago.. I don't want to be all "kelam-kabut" next year when I graduate. Although I still think I might have to ask my mom(if she's coming to my graduation ceremony. InsyaAllah) to bring another empty bag. I have too many clothes!! and most of them I've not worn for years!!!
I regretted not bringing some of them back last year.
I wish I have some magical powers so I can clean ALL THIS MESS!!! I just finished folding all my washed clothes. I hate cleaning, I hate tidying up and packing! arghh.. it consumes too much energy & time! And I feel like I'm moving too slow... everything is a mess! My room is a total mess! I feel all stressed out looking at all this mess!
Now I'm looking at my shelves.. There are papers with scribbles, old receipts, notes since matrix (1 sem punya notes pun nak bawak.. adoi).. I thought I'd be using it, shows the internet was more useful.. :P Now I don't know what to do with them.. Should I just throw them away or give them to new students coming in next sem? I truly hate throwing away knowledge. I still have my SPM notes at home. But then again, what are knowledge on paper when you don't have them in your heart and mind, right? And plus, internet access is so easy nowadays that I'm really having trouble deciding on these words on papers. Will there be anyone who would want them?.. Should I just throw them away? Having a tough time deciding. I know its not like I will read them.. But what if I do need to read them one day? Words on paper, and words coming from lecturer's experience is totally different..
And what am I doing with all these handbags?? wuuuu... I have this habit of keeping old stuffs.. Unless their ruin or broken, I will keep them FOREVER! It's such a bad habit.. but I'm very sentimental and I feel like things have feelings. Blame "Karangan Darjah 1" - Aku Sebatang Pen, Aku Sebuah Beg, Aku Sebatang Payung, Aku Sepasang Kasut, and it goes on. Its stuck with me ever since! and bB said its bad to think that way...
I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy too tired now.. and looking at this messy room makes me even more tired!
I'm out peeps.. later..
A bag is now full of clothes.. I'm bringing back 70% of my clothes from 6 years ago.. I don't want to be all "kelam-kabut" next year when I graduate. Although I still think I might have to ask my mom(if she's coming to my graduation ceremony. InsyaAllah) to bring another empty bag. I have too many clothes!! and most of them I've not worn for years!!!
I regretted not bringing some of them back last year.
I wish I have some magical powers so I can clean ALL THIS MESS!!! I just finished folding all my washed clothes. I hate cleaning, I hate tidying up and packing! arghh.. it consumes too much energy & time! And I feel like I'm moving too slow... everything is a mess! My room is a total mess! I feel all stressed out looking at all this mess!
Now I'm looking at my shelves.. There are papers with scribbles, old receipts, notes since matrix (1 sem punya notes pun nak bawak.. adoi).. I thought I'd be using it, shows the internet was more useful.. :P Now I don't know what to do with them.. Should I just throw them away or give them to new students coming in next sem? I truly hate throwing away knowledge. I still have my SPM notes at home. But then again, what are knowledge on paper when you don't have them in your heart and mind, right? And plus, internet access is so easy nowadays that I'm really having trouble deciding on these words on papers. Will there be anyone who would want them?.. Should I just throw them away? Having a tough time deciding. I know its not like I will read them.. But what if I do need to read them one day? Words on paper, and words coming from lecturer's experience is totally different..
And what am I doing with all these handbags?? wuuuu... I have this habit of keeping old stuffs.. Unless their ruin or broken, I will keep them FOREVER! It's such a bad habit.. but I'm very sentimental and I feel like things have feelings. Blame "Karangan Darjah 1" - Aku Sebatang Pen, Aku Sebuah Beg, Aku Sebatang Payung, Aku Sepasang Kasut, and it goes on. Its stuck with me ever since! and bB said its bad to think that way...
I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy too tired now.. and looking at this messy room makes me even more tired!
I'm out peeps.. later..
Some fresh raspberries I picked at Botanical Garden just now.. Not fully ripe yet, but I still love them!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Guess What?!
Because we had wait through the weekend to get my mother's TVIEXPRESS certificate verified, the list of hotels has been updated and the one I booked last week is GONE!!!
Btw, my mother's certificate is still no verified, so Mr. Uncle generously offered his certificate. And I had to go through the hassle once again of finding a new hotel because the hotel I booked 4 days ago has been updated with a new list of hotels. So the hotel I booked last week isn't in the new list! Am I making any sense? I hope you get the picture of what I'm trying to say. PLUS! All the tax & service charges of the hotels in the new list are above US$100!! NOT ONE IS BELOW $100.. I say this is cheating! wtf right?!
I just got my hotel confirmation email. I sent it like 3-4 emails to the hotel because I was worried. I just got a reply for the one I sent 2 days ago. And I sent like 3 emails yesterday. LOL! Now I'm embarrased. :"3
And the one Mr Uncle made with his certificate still hasn't got any reply yet. I guess, we'll know tomorrow or the day after. I truly hope everything will go well for this trip.
TVIEXPRESS made my life a living hell. I could have gone through hostelworld.com or booking.com without any of this nonsense. I wouldn't even have to change hotels!!
All my mom had to say was, "ada lah hikmah dia tu... "
Then Mr. Uncle said to me, mama said to him, "dah suruh buat booking lama dah.. last minute baru nak kelam kabut". In my head was like - Bb just finished exam last week, and we did do this as soon as our exam finished. I booked the hotel on the 23rd.. We had to find a cheap plane and trains, the best way to get there, we didn't know where we are heading first. Maybe Rome is our first stop, maybe it's Venice or Pisa or Florence. How are we supposed to know without proper planning? right? After our transportation system is covered, then we plan where to go first and how many days. After that only can we decide the date & place to stay.
And you know what Mr. Uncle said, "lain kali book hotel dulu, baru lah beli ticket kapal terbang".. Ya Allah, sabar je lah dengan uncle ni tau! Tak tau lah dia nak buat lawak ke tak.. tapi seriously, I told him, kalau flight tiba2 tak dapat, cancel or delay. Then burn je lah kan hotel tu kan? Pandai betul la orang MLM ni. Pastu kita kene beli certificate USD250 lagi lah kan?
Lepas tu dia cakap, "jalan kaki lah.." =.="
You know, there is a very thick border between jokes and stupid jokes. And I don't think Mr. Uncle knows about this border. Maybe he's trying to be friendly or even try to cool me down, and break the tension. But it just makes me annoyed with him. LIKE SERIOUSLY ANNOYED! and I'm just that person who is seriously easily annoyed with a person. Especially a person who makes stupid jokes in a serious situation. It's like you're looking at a dead person and laughing at him. Where are your manners?
And there is definitely a thick line between being friendly and somewhat perverted. Please Mr. Uncle. I don't mind if you're handsome and single. But you have a wife and you really shouldn't be saying/writing something like this:
"emmmmmmm lega dpt jumpa anna"..????? WHO THE HELL WRITES LIKE THAT? It grosses me out and scares the shit out of me! I'm really sorry. I know you've help me a lot with this (mainly because it gave me a lot of trouble), but seriously! I really don't feel like talking to you or even 'lega' to have met you. Maybe you're trying to be friendly, but I don't know you and haven't even met you and you're saying "emmmmmmm lega dpt jumpa anna".... O.O I really don't think I want to ever meet him! Even if he is a millionaire or something for doing this kind of business.
Btw, my mother's certificate is still no verified, so Mr. Uncle generously offered his certificate. And I had to go through the hassle once again of finding a new hotel because the hotel I booked 4 days ago has been updated with a new list of hotels. So the hotel I booked last week isn't in the new list! Am I making any sense? I hope you get the picture of what I'm trying to say. PLUS! All the tax & service charges of the hotels in the new list are above US$100!! NOT ONE IS BELOW $100.. I say this is cheating! wtf right?!
I just got my hotel confirmation email. I sent it like 3-4 emails to the hotel because I was worried. I just got a reply for the one I sent 2 days ago. And I sent like 3 emails yesterday. LOL! Now I'm embarrased. :"3
And the one Mr Uncle made with his certificate still hasn't got any reply yet. I guess, we'll know tomorrow or the day after. I truly hope everything will go well for this trip.
TVIEXPRESS made my life a living hell. I could have gone through hostelworld.com or booking.com without any of this nonsense. I wouldn't even have to change hotels!!
All my mom had to say was, "ada lah hikmah dia tu... "
Then Mr. Uncle said to me, mama said to him, "dah suruh buat booking lama dah.. last minute baru nak kelam kabut". In my head was like - Bb just finished exam last week, and we did do this as soon as our exam finished. I booked the hotel on the 23rd.. We had to find a cheap plane and trains, the best way to get there, we didn't know where we are heading first. Maybe Rome is our first stop, maybe it's Venice or Pisa or Florence. How are we supposed to know without proper planning? right? After our transportation system is covered, then we plan where to go first and how many days. After that only can we decide the date & place to stay.
And you know what Mr. Uncle said, "lain kali book hotel dulu, baru lah beli ticket kapal terbang".. Ya Allah, sabar je lah dengan uncle ni tau! Tak tau lah dia nak buat lawak ke tak.. tapi seriously, I told him, kalau flight tiba2 tak dapat, cancel or delay. Then burn je lah kan hotel tu kan? Pandai betul la orang MLM ni. Pastu kita kene beli certificate USD250 lagi lah kan?
Lepas tu dia cakap, "jalan kaki lah.." =.="
You know, there is a very thick border between jokes and stupid jokes. And I don't think Mr. Uncle knows about this border. Maybe he's trying to be friendly or even try to cool me down, and break the tension. But it just makes me annoyed with him. LIKE SERIOUSLY ANNOYED! and I'm just that person who is seriously easily annoyed with a person. Especially a person who makes stupid jokes in a serious situation. It's like you're looking at a dead person and laughing at him. Where are your manners?
And there is definitely a thick line between being friendly and somewhat perverted. Please Mr. Uncle. I don't mind if you're handsome and single. But you have a wife and you really shouldn't be saying/writing something like this:
"emmmmmmm lega dpt jumpa anna"..????? WHO THE HELL WRITES LIKE THAT? It grosses me out and scares the shit out of me! I'm really sorry. I know you've help me a lot with this (mainly because it gave me a lot of trouble), but seriously! I really don't feel like talking to you or even 'lega' to have met you. Maybe you're trying to be friendly, but I don't know you and haven't even met you and you're saying "emmmmmmm lega dpt jumpa anna".... O.O I really don't think I want to ever meet him! Even if he is a millionaire or something for doing this kind of business.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
oh! saya stress!
Why can't travelling be easy?
I'm leaving in less than a week. Just got the train & flight ticket. Place to stay in Rome is partially done. Others? I have no idea. Trying to get Rome settled first before trying to get others.
I feel like screaming at Tviexpress!
Ok. What is TviExpress you ask? It's an MLM company that handles travel services. Sort of a travelling agency, but you have to pay USD250/year, or is it a registration fee? (I'm not sure) and you'll get a free hotel accomodation package. Anyway, my mother signed me up for this saying it'll make travelling easier. She paid.
What makes it difficult is that -
1) Getting the account verified. I had to sent in my IC copy to the person in charge and send him multiple emails to get the job done immediately. And since my mother registered it for me, EVERYTHING WENT INTO HER EMAIL. So I had to call her and message her to get my information! And what a hassle it was that day, she forgot her password.. =.=" So I had to call the secretary and ask her to retrieve her boss' email password. =.="
2) What was written in the certificate was not the same as what was offered once you click to redeem your certificate. What written on the certificate was that we'll get 7 days and 6 nights free accommodation by TviExpress. Being me, always scared of something new, I didn't click redeem certificate, I'm afraid if I have to pay anything or anything unwanted happen. So I kept contacting my mother asking her what to do, and she, being her, always can't give me a full explanation on anything, only gave me the guy's (who is incharge this TviExpress thingy) email. So I kept contacting him, asking for every single details. Until he just asked me to click redeem certificate, did I know that we had 2 choices between 4 days 3 nights in a hotel OR 8 days 7 nights in a resort. Unfortunately, there was no resort in Rome, so I had to make due with a hotel. That's where the problem came, because bB already bought our flight tickets, and planned for us to stay 7 days in Rome since the certificate said 7 DAYS AND 6 NIGHTS! wtf right??? Luar cakap lain, dalam cakap lain!
3) Finding a hotel with taxes & service charge under USD100 with good review is another hassle! oh! you thought you've paid USD250 and everything's done? Nope. You have to pay taxes and service charge according to the list of hotels provided in their website to the person in charge. So I had to pay another USD88 to Mr. Uncle to get my bookings finalized!
And the funny thing is. The amount that I paid USD250+USD88=USD338 for 3 nights and booking.com is offering USD 325.06 for 3 nights (Double or Twin Room). Ok, original price is USD 543.20. But still, I could get that offered price now! (nasib baik mama yang bayar USD 250 tu, kalau tak meraung jugak saya)
I'm leaving in less than a week. Just got the train & flight ticket. Place to stay in Rome is partially done. Others? I have no idea. Trying to get Rome settled first before trying to get others.
I feel like screaming at Tviexpress!
Ok. What is TviExpress you ask? It's an MLM company that handles travel services. Sort of a travelling agency, but you have to pay USD250/year, or is it a registration fee? (I'm not sure) and you'll get a free hotel accomodation package. Anyway, my mother signed me up for this saying it'll make travelling easier. She paid.
What makes it difficult is that -
1) Getting the account verified. I had to sent in my IC copy to the person in charge and send him multiple emails to get the job done immediately. And since my mother registered it for me, EVERYTHING WENT INTO HER EMAIL. So I had to call her and message her to get my information! And what a hassle it was that day, she forgot her password.. =.=" So I had to call the secretary and ask her to retrieve her boss' email password. =.="
2) What was written in the certificate was not the same as what was offered once you click to redeem your certificate. What written on the certificate was that we'll get 7 days and 6 nights free accommodation by TviExpress. Being me, always scared of something new, I didn't click redeem certificate, I'm afraid if I have to pay anything or anything unwanted happen. So I kept contacting my mother asking her what to do, and she, being her, always can't give me a full explanation on anything, only gave me the guy's (who is incharge this TviExpress thingy) email. So I kept contacting him, asking for every single details. Until he just asked me to click redeem certificate, did I know that we had 2 choices between 4 days 3 nights in a hotel OR 8 days 7 nights in a resort. Unfortunately, there was no resort in Rome, so I had to make due with a hotel. That's where the problem came, because bB already bought our flight tickets, and planned for us to stay 7 days in Rome since the certificate said 7 DAYS AND 6 NIGHTS! wtf right??? Luar cakap lain, dalam cakap lain!
3) Finding a hotel with taxes & service charge under USD100 with good review is another hassle! oh! you thought you've paid USD250 and everything's done? Nope. You have to pay taxes and service charge according to the list of hotels provided in their website to the person in charge. So I had to pay another USD88 to Mr. Uncle to get my bookings finalized!
And the funny thing is. The amount that I paid USD250+USD88=USD338 for 3 nights and booking.com is offering USD 325.06 for 3 nights (Double or Twin Room). Ok, original price is USD 543.20. But still, I could get that offered price now! (nasib baik mama yang bayar USD 250 tu, kalau tak meraung jugak saya)
Click to enlarge
4) Ok since I've redeem my certificate, what to do to get another 3 nights in that hotel. I've decided to redeem my mom's certificate. The problem goes back to no 1 - account verification! My mom had this account for like months already, and with Mr. Uncle's procrastination, her account has yet to verified and since it's the weekend, they have not replied and fasten the verification process, and so I can't make my booking for the next 3 days! AND I'M LEAVING ON THE 29TH! ARGHHHHHHHHH!!! SETERESSSSS!!!
Oh dear mother.. how do you expect to promote this thing, when you can't give me any explanations on the booking system or even know how to use the internet or even remember your own email password? Because this business is using the internet and paypal and maybank2u to the fullest! And when I complained to her, the only thing she said was, "first time, memang lah rasa susah". Sigghhhhhh....
Hopefully, Mr. Uncle could get it done by tomorrow. If not, such a trouble for us to check out and check in again in another hotel/hostel/apartment. If mama hadn't paid, I wouldn't have bothered about this. But since she paid, it would be a waste not to use it either. Hishhhh.... banyak betul kerja! menyusahkan je!
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