A Mind Of My Own

I envy those people who can think. I envy those people who can talk. I envy those people who can say what they want to say.

I never was much of a debater. I guess I was more of a listener. A follower. And I never really know how to decide or to balance it out which is good or bad.

I had to take opinions. I had to ask people around me. And still in the end, I can't decide. I will be one way when there's more people on this side, and vice versa.

My mother's opinion matters the most. Her decisions. Everything. And I will always be her follower. This kind of bothers bB. Because I seem to always bragging about my mother. "My mom said like this, my mom said like that, etc". He always has his own mind. I envy him. I'm always changing, always going around and around. Not knowing where to stop.

I don't really know why. I guess that's why I'm not much of a leader. Although I aspire to be one. I wish.

I can't debate. I tend to get personal. I tend to be emotional. I guess I'll be a lousy politician. :P I'll cry. I'll scream. I'll run away. I hate when that happens. I don't really understand why. It sucks! because I wanna be strong.

I envy those who can talk. Who get people to listen. I envy my mother. I can't talk.

I talk shit sometimes. I know no one understands what I am saying. No one will pay attention anyway. I rather keep quiet. I guess I'd rather write. :)