When your hormones goes ups and downs.

When everything else fails, and I keep on crying, you'd make it worst by saying "Let's just break up" and hangs up the phone.

How I wish you would just DROP EVERYTHING that you're doing and JUST PAY YOUR ATTENTION to me. All I want is just you and me always,
Give me affection,
I need your perfection..

I'm always 2nd to your everything. I should accept that by now. I really should. It's has been 4 years. But I can't. Because it's not fair.

I know why you can't stand that I cried. I know why you walk away or shut the door or hang up the phone every time tears welled up my cheeks. You can't stand the fact that you're a FAILURE. FAILURE TO ME.

You said, lets continue this another time, I asked you "WHEN? WHEN WILL YOU HAVE TIME? WHEN?!" and YOU SAID, "LET'S JUST BREAK UP" every time things get tough between us. Like it is the easiest thing in the world to do. When you can't figure out what I want, when you can't make the tears stop. It breaks my heart every time, but most time the words don't even have meaning for me anymore. Because you always come back. And I always accept you back.

I wish you knew, all I wanted was you. And I can see that you just can't give me you. You asked me to understand your situations, but you don't understand OUR situation. MY SITUATION.

Kau tak pernah cuba memahami aku
Cinta kau ucap tak pernah engkau tunjuk
Dan bila tiba saat ku kehilangan
Beban yang tak pernah cuba kau ringankan...

Maybe you'll come back like always when you've cool down. Maybe you won't. Maybe I'll be here like always. Maybe I won't.

Citarasa

My cousin asked me if I have any single friends to match-make with one of her friends. So I gave a few names with their facebook profile.

After a while she said, 'better with no tudung(hijab)'. I LOLed. I mean like, really?

I wonder why is it so important about the girl's attire. Whether she wears a hijab or not. Even for my brother (the older one). He likes girls with no hijab. When asked "why?", he said he doesn't like girl with curly hair. So, he's like, "if she covers her hair, how would I know if she has curly or straight hair?".. Right. what if she straightened her hair?? hrmmm...

Well, anyway. I see that not all guys like and want girls who cover their hair. Or maybe they're like mine. Being with a free-hair girl, and kept asking, "when are you going to cover your hair?". That is just so freaking annoying. But I don't think my bro is like that. He never said anything to my mom about her not wearing hijab even though she's 50 years old.

Whatever said, men are shallow. Doesn't matter if the girl is covering her hair or not. In the end, all they want is a pretty face. And later find out, that you need a pretty heart to go along with it too. Pretty face first though. Never the heart. Then when the girl breaks his heart. tadaaaa.. yeah. That's what you get for being shallow. cheers~

GUYS ARE ANNOYING. nuff said.

20.11.2011

There has been a lot of great dates in this millennium. Today is a Sunday. One of my friend got married today. I'm sure there're more wedding today. Just like on 11.11.11. huhuhu...

I've nothing write actually. I have a lot of stuffs on my to-do-list that need completing. But as you know, how I love procrastinating, especially when I'm in front of my laptop.

Current mood: mellow, lazy
Current playlist: Yuna Zarai

The sun is out. I wish I want to go out. But I think I'll be staying in this weekend. I'm pretty lazy and tired.

I need to do my laundry and just found out that the washing machine broke down. Looks like I have to hand wash my laundry now.. >.< adehhhh... everything just has to happen when you're already in your final year.

Pink Sky. A day before the snow came.

Anyway, I've just finished planning for my winter break trip. You guys just have to wait to know where I'm going. Hopefully everything turns out as plan. If not, I might just spend another winter in good ol' Russia. :))

Obedient Wives Club

My non-muslim friends are circulating this video in facebook. I'm totally saddened by the fact that this club does not understand the concept of polygamy and misinterpreted the Holy Quran. I can't help but feel like, it's giving Islam a bad name, even though their intentions are good.

How did women fall down so low when we are given the higher degree by Allah s.w.t? There are even a Surah dedicated to women in the Quran. Surah An-Nisa' which means "The Women". Every single welfare of women are written in that Surah. How noble are we women to be given such recognition by Allah swt? 

What does the non-Muslims think about this? Of course they think it's stupid. I wish they'd understand our religion. I wish they'd understand that Islam is not stupid. I wish they'd understand how Islam gives nobility to women. I wish they'd know that this video does not convey Islam.

"And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), THEN (MARRY) ONLY ONE or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course." 
(AlQuran; Surah An-Nisa':3)

O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good. 
(AlQuran; Surah An-Nisa':19)

Polygamy are created to take care of women's welfare. The verses in the Quran stating that polygamy is accepted was received by the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W due to the fact that there were plenty of widows during his time and they were at war. Muslim men were allowed to take these widows as their wives in order to provide and take care of them.

I hope the men as well the people who created OWC can see this. May Allah swt show us the way. Amin...

Circle Of Light Festival 2011

I absolutely forgot to update about the Circle of Light Festival, which was held from 21st October 2011 to 23rd October 2011 at Red Square and Gorky Park.

I found out about it by accident, because we were supposed to have a batch photoshoot at Moscow State University and Red Square on Saturday, but the photographers(the almost professionals one, they're my batchmates as well. Not the hired one) asked if there were any event going on in Red Square that we might interfere with. So I was googling around and found out about the event.

The photographers wen't straight after our batch photoshoot. They invited me to come along, but I was too tired and cold. So I didn't go along.

It was until they posted it on their facebook the pictures they took that night was I really regretting it. It was so beautiful!!! And I was asking around if anyone wants to come along with me.

In the end, I tagged along Tita, Aznira, Iqa, Elyn, Dalila, Syafiqah and Afif. We went the next day. hehe..

It was a fun night in deed! Something different with different set of people. They were really outgoing and awesome.

The whole Red Square is set up with lights and surround sound systems. It almost felt like an Alien Spaceship is coming down to land, invade or abduct us!!! >___<

But some of the songs they played, were so romantic, I felt sad that bB wasn't there. There were a lot of couples kissing under the night sky, full of light and music. Argh! I'm jealous! >__<

Anyway, I had a really fun night. Too bad I missed the Closing Ceremony at Gorky Park. We were lazy to walk to 2 places in one night. My friend said, it was the most spectacular fireworks they had ever seen! They synchronized the fireworks with the music. I can imagine how awesome it must've be. I really hope they'll be more awesome events like this in Moscow. I'm really sad to say this is my final year. Here's some photo.

Us, with some friends with MSMU. I looked like I had the time of my life! ;D 

(My friend's awesome photographic skills)

More photos and videos in my facebook!

and here's more photo on the Opening Ceremony (which I also missed) and Closing Ceremony.

Here's a video of the event I found from their website. This is the opening ceremony. The day I went it was almost the same as this. The only difference was there was no one dancing on the stage and there were full of people in the Square. Enjoy! :)

Once a Century

It's that date that everyone wants to make it into something special.

Nothing special for me though. Although, I got a cheque from bB for RM1111.11! Weeeeee! (He's paying back the loan I gave him. bayaran hutang ye kawan2. bukan wang tunang, bukan wang hantaran nikah, bukan nak beli cinta, bukan saje2. Bf saya tak cop duit. tapi ada extra bonus ah sbb dia nak bagi nombor cantik :-P)

And also today is my groupmate Sasha's birthday! So we had a little celebration at Daigon after class with Shantina and Anusya. Lovely place with excellent food! Yummmm... ;)

Also.. We're gonna have a "cake cutting ceremony" at 11:11 PM tonight at her place. Awesome. ;D

Knowledge

I have been reading the Quran with it's tafseer(translation) since new year. It was one of my resolutions to read at least ONE AYAT A DAY. But I've been getting better, Alhamdulillah and been reading A PAGE A DAY.

It used to be so difficult reading the Quran. But I'm glad it's getting better, and I hope it won't get worse.

So far, I've only read until Surah Al-Nisa. And I really love it. Is it because I'm a feminist? haha. Not really. This ayat from Surah Al-Nisa really captured my heart.

"Dan Allah hendak (membersihkan kamu dari dosa dengan) menerima taubat kamu, sedang orang-orang (yang fasik) yang menurut keinginan hawa nafsu (yang diharamkan oleh Allah itu) hendak mendorong kamu supaya kamu menyeleweng (dari kebenaran) dengan penyelewengan yang besar bahayanya.

ا

Allah (sentiasa) hendak meringankan (beban hukumnya) daripada kamu, kerana manusia itu dijadikan berkeadaan lemah"

- Surat Al-Nisa ayat 27-28

I love it because it makes me feel like I have hope. I love it because it shows how Merciful Allah swt is.

It made me cry.

Salam Eid-ul Adha

I would like have this opportunity to wish every Muslim across the world a happy and blessful Eid-ul Adha. May this Eid brings us more prosperity and hidayah to be closer to Allah s.w.t. Ameen...

I wish one day, soon, to have the opportunity to perform Hajj too.

SELAMAT MENUNAIKAN IBADAH HAJI KEPADA YANG BERADA DI TANAH HARAM. SEMOGA MABRUR! ^___^